


How could you leave me?

by xPastelEreminx



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, M/M, Suicide, jongtae - Freeform, our angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 12:46:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13717971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPastelEreminx/pseuds/xPastelEreminx
Summary: Jonghyun thought he and Taemin had something.But he was wrong.





	How could you leave me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [For my good friend ❤](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=For+my+good+friend+%E2%9D%A4).



Jonghyun adored Taemin with all his heart. A black-haired boy with smiling eyes was all he needed-he was his air to breathe,his everything.From first day they met,Jonghyun promised to himself he is going to love him forever,to have him for his whole life. To marry him,to get old with him. He believed in his love and never gave up on it. He never thought a day like this would come.

These days,Jonghyun rarely saw Taemin. He was either studying or working in a cafe,and neither of them liked that. Taemin was a dancer who was almost always absent due to tours,practices and even college. But none of this were problems until now. Since Jonghyun chose to become a lawyer and Taemin a professional dancer,they had colleges quite far away. But none of these things bothered none of them. At least that's what Jonghyun thought.

After a long day of exams and work hours Jonghyun finally could breathe. He was going home,with groceries in one hand and phone in the other. He smiled when he saw Taemin's message that he will come home soon. Jonghyun had plans for that night. He would make a nice dinner after that maybe some cuddling and watching Disney movies. He finally came home-well to his shared apartment. He was greeted by the smell of Taemin's parfume-his favourite. He closed his eyes for a second,remembering how they met. He sighed and went to kitchen,putting food on the counter and putting his coat off. He rolled up his sleeves and started to cook. When he made up table,putting food on the table,making everything perfect,he finally sat down,smiling proudly. After a minute of being in deep thought,he heard the doors unlocking. He jumped out of the chair,immediatly walking up to greet the younger man. Taemin came into the apartment with a bit serious face,but when he saw his lover smiling so happily,so proudly,he couldn't help but smile. »Jonghyun. You already home? And mm,what's this smell? Smells nice!« he smiled and out his jacket down. Jonghyun hugged him,kissing his forehead. »I missed you.« he whispered then pulling away. »I made you,well us,dinner!« he laughed,his eyes shining. »Sounds good.«

After a nice,quiet dinner,Taemin coughed a bit. »Uhm Jjong?« »Yes?« »Thank you fort he nice dinner-» »Of course-» »-but we need to talk.« »Talk? Uh yeah sure…is something wrong?« Taemin looked him in the eyes with his eyes,his shining smiling eyes. »Yes..I-I don't know how to say it. I really cherish what we had. Us. I loved you. I really did. But..this is too much. We only see each other in the evening,too tired to even do anything! I know it's hard,I have tours,you work,we have college..but I don't think this is going to work. Not like this. Not anymore.« »Taemin..« Jonghyun's eyes widened in shock,watering with tears. He didn't mean it right? It's just some kind of a sick joke,right?? »Are you..saying we should..« »Break up.« Taemin finished the sentence,nodding. »Yeah.« »But….please we can fix this! I have only on year to finish please…don't leave me! Not…not now. When I need you the most Taemin. Please don't leave me!« Jongyhun's voice cracked,tears streaming down his face. He stood up and went down on his knees,before Taemin. He took Taemin's hands in his,leaning his forehead on them. »I beg you…please don't do that Taemin. Please don't! I beg you,I really really do! I love you from the moment I first saw you,I loved you 'till now! I still do.« he cried more,sobbing. Taemin looked away,sighing. »I will pack my things. Find a new apartment closer to my college.« »No. Don't.I beg you! I…I am going to move out.« Jonghyun stood up,sobbing and leaving Taemin his space. »Jjong-» »Don't. I don't want to hear my name ever again! Just…leave me. That's what you want. I'll respect it.« with these words he went into his room,crying himself to sleep. 

The next day he woke up,he remembered all the things that happened,immediatly going to the leaving room,looking around. Some books were gone,pictures still there. He went into Taemin's room,seeing it was empty. His eyes watered again,his legs not bearing him anymore. All his things were gone…his clothes,his presence. In that moment,Jonghyun never felt so lonely.

Two months passed and in the meantime,Jonghyun fell into depression again. He couldn't eat,he felt worthless,helpless. He had trouble concentrating,he oversleept most of the day. He just wasn't himself. His good friend,Minho,noticed it,trying to help him get through. But he just couldn't help. Nothing helped,not even a single thing. He lost all interes in his hobbies,in life. He wondered,what did he do? Why was he not good enough? What if-oh those what ifs were deadly. When he finally felt like himself,he went out to his favourite cafe. But when he got there,he was immediatly reminded of him. Of the boy,whose words were sharp like a knife,whose words were so deadly. He remembered their first date,dancing to this song. It was still so graceful,but so dangerous. 

His heart ached when he saw him on the streets,laughing like nothing happened. Walking past him like they didn't knew each other. Jonghyun was so sick-so sick of pretending not knowing who his past lover is,he felt nothing but resent towards him. Towards Taemin,towards himself. He wondered how did he even let something like this to happen. He truly thought he was the one. The one,who wouldn't left him like all previous,the one eho helped him through everything. But in the end,he was let down,again. He left when he needed him the most. He couldn't get over it.

»I don't want to live.«

»I don't want to remember anything.«

»I don't want to live like this.«

»I don't want to live.

»Not without him.«

Those were words he wrote onto a paper,drenched with tears. 

»You know what you have to do.« A voice strucked through his head. Closing his eyes,he pulled the trigger.

»Please don't leave.«

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!   
> I'm back! I am sorry for this really sad angsty oneshot,but I was so inspired atm that I had to.  
> Take care of yourself please ❤


End file.
